


Donut

by yeaka



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12037323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: Data mangles Geordi’s bagel.





	Donut

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

Of all the studies and experiments Data conducts, far too many involve his cat. If Geordi had his way, not a one would. But quirkiness is an inherent trait of Data’s, and if he weren’t _strange_ , he wouldn’t be Data at all. So Geordi accepts that and spends too much time in Data’s quarters watching Spot scurry back and forth across the carpet, while Data sits at the console and inputs the readings Geordi reports off his VISOR. Data could probably keep the information solely in his positronic brain, but apparently he thinks this is data others will want to read. Geordi’s skeptical. 

But Geordi’s a good friend, so he does it. When they finally take a break for Data to run a few tests, Geordi wanders over to the replicator, installed more for guests’ perusal than Data’s own—although Geordi’s sure there have also been a number of nutritional and indulgence tests. On the odd off day like this, Geordi doesn’t want something nutritional, and if he wanted to really indulge, he’d insist they move to Ten Forward. He orders up a light, casual: “Terran whole wheat bagel.” He knows from past experience that if he doesn’t phrase it that exact way, he’ll be prompted for endless specifications.

The machine lets out a barely perceptible hum, energy emissions lighting up, and then a circular chunk of matter forms on the replicator dish.

Geordi plucks it up, holds up the lukewarm pastry, and examines its middle to make sure he isn’t misinterpreting his vision.

“Data?”

“Yes, Geordi?”

“Your replicator’s malfunctioning.”

Data glances up from his terminal, head tilting aside in that quintessential _Data_ innocence. “I have noticed no apparent issues.” 

“Yet I ordered a bagel,” Geordi starts, holding out said order for emphasis, “and your machine gave me a bun.”

“Ah,” Data replies, exercising one of the many subtle sub programs meant to make him seem more _human_. “That is not a malfunction; I corrected the program myself when I realized it was serving food missing large internal portions.”

Geordi could almost laugh. Only _Data_ would try to fix a bagel. “Data, bagels are _supposed_ to have a hole in the middle—that’s the point.”

“But Geordi, bagels have no point. They are round.”

There Geordi actually does laugh, and the spectrum of Data’s face lifts in a light smile. Anyone else might think that just another android slip, completely not understanding the humanoid mind, but Geordi knows Data well enough to spot the intentional joke—something Data’s been trying to get right for years. Clearly pleased with his success, Data continues, “I am aware of the accepted traditional shape of bagels. However, I believe the model is inefficient. I have therefore endeavored to correct the flaw. I had actually intended to bring the matter up in our next general meeting, where I will volunteer to correct the remaining replicators aboard the _Enterprise_.”

Fondly shaking his head, Geordi chuckles, “Not a chance, Data,” and he turns back to return his friend’s replicator to ‘perfect’ working order.


End file.
